What you may have missed in the business news last week:

1. Apple launched a new cheap(ish-but-not-really) iPhone. And a fingerprint one.

So there was general disappointment on Tuesday, as Apple announced that the iPhone was so awesome that they were releasing not one, but two new models. And then the market threw a collective tantrum because “the iPhone 5C wasn’t cheap enough” by dropping the share price by 5%.

I have had some thoughts:

    1. The new iPhone 5S is pretty awesome. I mean – the fingerprint scan sounds like a novelty, but Apple is not famous for its novelty factor (it leaves that to Samsung and its ridiculous wristwatch camera). Rather, I think that the Blackberry demise has left a giant corporate gap in the market. And what was Blackberry famous for? Its security. Just think about it – your phone has full access to your mail (ALL your mail), your social media accounts, your banking apps, your messaging histories… You’ve also probably got a password app that stores all your passwords. Lose that, and your life is a step away from hijacked. An application that locks the phone to your fingers alone sounds like a strong corporate sell. If you were a corporation with executives that have mail accounts – would you want them to have open Androids or iOS with biometric protection?
    2. The world is full of fools. Like the fool in the linked article above that said: “any goober can stick a piece of tape on a greasy thumbprint depression left on a soda can, peel it off, scan it into a computer, and figure out a way to trick a fingerprint sensor“. That sounds like a lot of effort. Also – if someone stalks me for my greasy fingerprints, has a printer that scans tapes, and can figure out a way to model a fake finger – then I’m assuming that I’m the kind of person that leaves nothing in writing/print/any-media-at-all anyway. Because no one wants me that bad without good reason. So I reckon we’re fine.
    3. The iPhone 5C is priced for China. Sure – it sounds high. But my understanding is that the Chinese markets love a bargain, any bargain, so long as there’s a bargain price. If you know that you’re entering that market via cellphone carriers that will want to enter negotiations with their subscribers, would you start the bidding off low to bid even lower, or higher to bid down to a reasonable-but-still-profit-making price?
    4. My only real criticism: seriously, a gold one? Why is there a gold one?

2. The Dow Jones is the most useless indicator in the world.

Okay – in all fairness, this is not news. But it may be the subject of tomorrow’s post.

However – there has been a shake-up in the most useless indicator in the world. Farewell to Bank of America, Hewlett-Packard and Alcoa. Welcome Goldman Sachs, Visa and Nike.

Does that mean anything to you? Worry not.

The Dow Jones means nothing at all.

3. Twitter to sell itself and its soul.

Twitter announced that it’s seeking an IPO. But it’s doing so confidentially for a while – sort of the business version of testing the waters with a girl.

It does make me a bit sad – because regardless of outcome, it means that my twitterfeed is about to have more promotion happening on it. But all free things come to an end!

4. Larry Summers will not be the next Fed chairman.

In case anyone was interested in the fun Federal Reserve leadership saga, you should know that the two front-runners to take over from Bernanke were Larry Summers and Janet Yellen.

Obama was rumoured to be leaning strongly in Larry Summers’ direction. Mr Summers is famous for being a brilliant economist, an arrogant ass, and for getting fired from the presidency of Harvard. Well, he resigned after a vote of no-confidence.

Anyway, last night, he announced that he no longer wished to be up for consideration for the job.

So it looks like America might get her first female head of the Fed…